Thoughts

My sister is getting an MRI today. She has swollen optic nerves and a blurry spot in one eye and they think it might have something to do with her brain. I really know little about it... the younger brother called and we talked and he mentioned it and then my sister got on and told me about it. But, her eventual comment bears some explaining.

My sister and I when we go out together have a strange thing happen to us. She's 15, I'm 21. I'm regularly mistaken as younger than her, with me as the younger one and her as the older. One lady thought she was 16 and me 13. Another thought she was in college and I was the one in highschool. A third time a museum curator scolded her for baiting her younger sister, when we asked how old the lady thought we were, she was thought to be 19 and me 14.

I'm not necessarily upset about this, (okay, I am but I also think it will be cool when I'm old and I'm mistaken for younger). Last night though I was reminded of why she's mistaken as the older one.

We were talking, and she mentioned on the swim team that another girl she swims with had similar problems and she ended up having calcium deposits in her eyes. And I asked, "Do you think it's because of swimming?"

Her: "No, it's a coincidence that we had similar environmental factors." (What 15 year old talks like that?)

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I've been feeling rather sad lately... I think mostly because its nearly that time of month, and normally I get rather weepy around that time. I hate it, because I'm sad and there's no reason why and I feel listless and don't want to get out of bed and have very little energy.

It will go for two or three days, and I'll be withdrawn and antisocial and generally try not to take everyone down around with me. And then just as suddenly, I'll snap out of it and I'll be my overly happy cheerful silly self.

But it just bothers me when I'm in the sad mode because I know I'm sad, I know the reason why, but it still feels to me like I'll always feel sad like this, that it will never end, and that the world just hates me. Its so irrational.

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Other random notes:

My sculpture is going well. I've made the wings. It really does look better without a head.

My last yarn I tried spinning was in this beautiful color, and I'm so excited about it. I spun it real thin, and I love how it came out (Navajo plied) except that the yarn kept loosing so much of the twist it broke while I was plying it. Especially toward the end. Does that mean I'm not giving it enough twist, or is there another problem?

Spinners, your help would be appreciated.